Win $1,000 at the Sherwood Casino!!

Now, as you may have heard, there’s going to be a new president in charge come January. My wife doesn’t really like the new president. In her mind he is an out-of-control, male chauvinist, racist, authoritarian bully. And you know what, she’s probably right. From what I’ve seen, yeah, the guy has some issues, but, one thing people seem to forget about the new president, he built casinos! So next time somebody says that bigoted Donald Trump never did anything positive for people, you tell them he provided a place for thousands, maybe even millions, to play poker and what in the hell is wrong with that.

I should warn you though, be careful WHO you say this too. I brought it up in conversation with my aforementioned wife the other night have been sleeping in Poker Basement ever since. While this hasn’t been ideal, it has given me some sense of where I’d like to make improvements. For one, I’ve noticed that most other casinos have shopping whereas Poker Basement only has all of the excess junk I’ve accrued over the last twenty odd years. Well, you want a shopping experience, you got one! From now on, anything you see in the basement is “for sale.” That’s right. If you see something you like or want, just make me an offer and it could be yours.

What about entertainment, you ask. Other casinos have concerts and boxing matches. Don’t worry, I’ve got it covered. The area over by the washing machine will now function as a boxing ring for the neighborhood children. Better still, the house will now provide odds and cover all bets on these bouts, which should prove to be extremely exciting since some of these kids have “behavioral issues.”

Oh, Prior, please stop with these lame-o ideas and let’s talk poker. Ok, so yeah, my wife and daughter are going to Washington to protest this lunatic becoming president, which means some kind of poker tournament is coming your way on the day of the Million Woman March. I am calling this the…

Ain’t Life GRAND Tourney

This tourney is many things, among them being:

1. Deep. 12,000 chips to start with and a 25/50 first level. (followed by 50/50, 50/100, 75/150, 100/200, 150/300, 200/400, 300/600, 500/1000, etc)
2. Challenging. It’ll start at 4pm with each level lasting one hour!
3. Rewarding. To whoever wins that is, because in honor of America’s continuing concentration of wealth into the pockets of the already insanely rich, only the tournament winner gets a prize, a prize that is calculated to put them up ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS for the day! Nobody else gets anything. No chops allowed. Chops are for commies like Andy R__!
4. Upstairs. Not in the basement.

Buy in is based on how many people play, so it’s

buy in / players / payout
$166.80 / 7 / $1000.8
$143.00 / 8 / $1001
$125.00 / 9 / $1000
$111.12 / 10 / $1000.08
$90.91 / 12 / $1000.01
$83.35 / 13 / $1000.2
$77.00 / 14 / $1001
$71.50 / 15 / $1001

Now, I know there were some “problems” with the last tourney, but this one I think is a lot more clear cut. First off, there is only ONE tourney scheduled, so there won’t be people waiting around forever for the first tournament to end. Secondly, since there will be no rebuys, we won’t run into the risk of running out of chips. There, all problems solved.

The game will start at 3 or 4 and there’ll be a standard issue cash game running on the side starting around 6pm. I can pretty much guarantee this will be the best poker event ever to occur at Sherwood Casino. Even if you just want to play the cashgame, the spectacle of people duking it out for a thousand dollars at the next table should be highly entertaining.